I remember reading an article on Vogue some time ago. The writer suggests that how beautiful women and plain janes experience their happiness in different stages of life. I can't find the original article. But let me try to summarize it. According to the article, beautiful women tend to be more fulfilled in the early stages of their lives because they are, as mentioned, beautiful and desirable. Their attractiveness makes their goals and dreams easily within reach. Yet, this "convenience" tends to cultivate the habit of heavily relying on looks instead of talents.
Time passes; people age. By the time they realize their looks are no longer functioning as their "key to success", they also find themselves in a pathetically embarrassing situation of having neither talents or skills to perpetuate their success. Their confidence and "happiness" plummet as a result of that. As the famous saying goes, "the higher you are, you harder you fall".... Plain-janes, on the other hand, enjoy higher degree of happiness as they mature. Lacking mesmerizing looks, their aspects of life - be it their social life or professional advancement - do not evolve or revolve around appearance. Talents and interpersonal skills become essential to their survivals. Unlike beauty that fades with age, talents and skills are polished over the years. Their "happiness" brought by their own achievements is not compromised by age.....
Well, that's about it... While I find her argument interesting, I can't hold it as the "eternal truth". Happiness is a feeling - a subjective, abstract variable. You can "compare" your OWN degree of happiness on any two given days, but you cannot compare that between two individuals.
Happiness is not measured - it is perceived or "learned" as I've come to realize through these years . And what the writer says about the different paths they take in achieving personal goals; how beautiful women assumably manufacture their success on the basis of attractiveness; how plain-janes acquire skills in the rivalry against the beautiful - is plain generalisation. In the first place, their so-called paths are in fact, well, their attitude.
Attitude shapes your destiny. But attitude has little - if not nothing - to do with appearance. You can be a plain jane while being equally ignorant as a dumb blonde. (And please, gimme a break and drop that romantic image of "Plain-janes the Underdog V.S. The Dumb and the Beautiful". ) What I have learnt in life is: you can't create "happiness" in your life but you can be HAPPIER by zooming out on a bigger picture and focusing on the positive aspects. Things might not have been the best, but I promise they could be worse.
I do have regrets or things I'd love to change in life. I might not have the happiest childhood; I might not have spent the best and worst days with my family during my high school; It would have been nicer if I didn't have to face a certain overbearing aunt everyday for 8 years; My relationships could have been nicer.. I thought I had one of the toughest paths in this world. I was unhappy because I didn't know what I've got.
I grew up with bunch of sheltered well-to-do kids, totally unaware of the cruel world outside.When I questioned how a family survive on a mere SGD$1800 a month, I wasn't being a snob - I was plain ignorant.
The bottom line is: I can't complain.
I've gone through a lot more - the good ones, the bad ones - than many of my counterparts. Without my dad living in a suitcase and making all that money, I couldn't have afforded this comfortable life. I'm well-travelled; have enough education; have loving family and friends...
Everything I have is given to me.
And like when you receive any gift, you say "thank you".
Today I woke up, I told myself it would be a good day.
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